iiii Magazine is an independent arts and culture publication, based in London and Manchester. We talk about culture in the sense suggested by Francis Bacon, when he said of intellectual enrichment: 'the culture and manurance of minds’. Our approach to culture is the same: that something bright and engaging may be derived from detritus. We love cultural ephemera in particular, and despite Bacon’s near-perfect turn of phrase, it is the position of the magazine that it is not sufficient. We publish articles that stretch our assumptions of what culture can be, so long as they are forged with originality.

We place no limits on subject matter or form — we have published incisive criticism, personal essays and memoirs, humour pieces and odes to oddities — but we take as a guiding principle this from Flann O’Brien’s The Third Policeman (1967): 

‘Always ask any questions that are to be asked […] Turn everything you hear to your own advantage. Always carry a repair outfit. Take left turns as much as possible. Never apply your front brake first’. 

¶ Visit Our Shop

Support the magazine by visiting our SHOP.

~ With the help of Studio Hyte, we created a football (scarf) with no crest, no local, nor national allegiance — a garment that challenges the ugly attitudes that alienate so many from the beautiful game.
~ As well as looking fresh, your (scarf) is also doing its bit to address the aforementioned issues, with 10% of all profits raised donated to LGBT charity Stonewall (Charity number: 1101255)

¶ Work With Us

iiii Magazine is a non-profit organisation, and our modest team of editors, reporters, and social scribes work on a voluntary basis. We do have plans to address this in the future. As it is we are looking for a creative, driven individual to join the team, to help shape future editions. If you would like to work for iiii Magazine, do send a CV and a cover letter outlining the sort of role you would like to take to We will do our best to get back to you quickly.


¶ Forthcoming Editions

A Publication by iiii Magazine: A look at football culture through twenty classic kits

(crest) is a book that entwines history, design, and football culture to enliven debate about belonging — both local and national — in a fractious British and European moment. Classic football kits are artefacts highly sought after by collectors and fans alike. Is this a question of design, of a club’s success, or of nostalgia? Can it be all or none of these things? In twenty short essays by twenty writers, (crest) charts the peculiar histories of each of the 2018/19 Premier League football clubs through the lens of a prized classic kit from the past decades. The book takes football seriously at its root, and looks at how larger forces drive the sense of allegiance of football-loving individuals — what hidden personal stories make the Beautiful Game beautiful when it can seem so ugly?

Produced by iiii Magazine, (crest) will feature quality photography and minimalist design. iiii encourages deep and engaged archival research, as well as idiosyncratic and strange personal stories. Whatever the mode or the form, iiii Magazine is committed to providing generous editorial support to writers.

To pitch a text, please email:
To be involved in any other capacity, email:

¶ Online

The online publication continues all year round, and publishes articles in three broad categories:

  1. Esoterica and funny writing [the stranger, more parochial, the better]
  2. Long-form interviews and features
  3. The 500 [react, respond in 500 words to an artefact, a lyric, a piece of punctuation, anything]

If your text does not fit into one of the above categories, don't fret, we just need a pitch. Please send a query or an extract from your text to with SUBMISSION in the subject line. Work should be previously unpublished; but we will consider work under consideration elsewhere if you let us know. We are run by a team of volunteers, and thus we are unfortunately not yet in a position to offer a fee.

Please provide a short author’s bio-line which will be published under your piece. 'Algenon Overling is a fictional writer based in 12th Century Denmark. He likes to relax with his kestrel and his crossbow. Good with kids’.

Style Guide

Please defer to the short style guide. It not only saves on editorial nit-picking, but illustrates commitment to the publication.

  1. Oxford commas, yes. In lists of three or more things, include a comma between the final two, before the ‘and’ (Manchester, Leeds, and London).
  2. Titles of books, films, exhibitions italicised. Titles of artworks ‘Like This’ (2018).
  3. One space after full-stops. Always.
  4. ‘Use single quotation marks “except for quotes within quotes” at all times’.
  5. Include spaces before and after em-dashes. (I wouldn’t — but for in unlikely circumstances — consider a teacake).
  6. Dates: 5 May 2016 / Decades: 1980s.
  7. Special formatting requirements are difficult to manage on an optimised website, but we will always try to meet a writer’s needs.



21st Century Tips for Brushing Your Teeth with Kendall Jenner,
the Face of Moon Oral Care

Jordan Harrison-Twist


Back to Basics

Don’t be over-reliant on electric toothbrushes. At only $1 for two or three manual toothbrushes, not only is this a more economically viable choice, but they give a steadier flame with more palatable fumes. Once the head is completely alight, simply rub in circles across the backs of your teeth until all the plaque and enamel is burned away. Then simply bury the wreckage of your life in a bog somewhere.

Just a Regular Girl

Experts claim that brushing your teeth at least twice a day is sufficient for a healthy smile. But new research suggests that most experts only acquired their PHDs at some point in the past. The past must not be trusted! Stephen Hawking’s 'A Brief History of Time: From the Big Bang to Black Holes' contains no instances of teeth-brushing at all. Occam chose a razor, not a brush.

The Case Against Fluoride

Now it is widely understood that fluoride poisons the water supply, causes renal and pancreatic cancer, and is a made-up non-existent mineral, has never existed, is #false, a wide range of substitutes have revolutionised the market. But how can you tell the real from the phoney? This is a quick one-question guide to help you find your non-toxic, naturally occurring alternative.

ASK YOURSELF: “Is this toothpaste recommended by dentists?”

If the answer is NO, then your purchase will be 100% EFFECTIVE.*

(Remember: dentists are thick and perverts. Steve Martin’s 1986 documentary about a plant that ate people featured a sadistic dentist who gained sexual pleasure from the pain of his victims).

{Editor: please fact-check, as this may have been Cheaper by the Dozen 2}

*{Editor: is this fine?}

Charcoal, Yay or Nay?

The availability of self-care information online has brought about a renaissance in organic hygiene, and start-ups are beginning to sell more sophisticated products than (the now slightly passé) charcoal paste. Eggs. However the guys at L.A. Scaux are the exception. Making archaeology sexy, L.A. Scaux are offering six lucky beauties per day the opportunity to visit the Dordogne to scrape their teeth over the 20,000-year-old cave paintings of bulls. Paleolithic? More like paleolipstick! Indiana Jones? More like Indiana Sparkling Smile!

Know Your History

Misinformation is a blight on my oral care business, so the onus is on all of us to educate ourselves as best we can. What works for our bodies now might not have been the case for the old humans. Remember that genetic mutation may have irreparably altered people mouths because of our soft diets, but only 4,000 years ago, early human beings were more like land-whales, and would run through long meadow grass when they fed, capturing moths in their baleen bristles. The nipples are of course evidence of our mammalian past, but the most striking similarity between ourselves and our whale brothers and sisters is our short developmental period in the chrysalis.

Believe in Yourself

Secularization has swept through all areas of public life, but the loss of faith in personal hygiene routines is total pump! A prayer before bed when contained in the mouth can dislodge plaque by the vibrations of God's Breath. The same effect is also noticed when blowing a hopeful tune on the horn, whistling a hymn, or the ceremonial chewing of mice.

large_editor commented:
Weds 13 March 10:09am
Hi, Kendall. Yeah should be fine. Nobody reads anything on that website anyway. Pat is fine but she can't stop shouting.